"Markiplier's History Lessons: 4TH OF JULY"
Release Date July 4, 2014
Length 2:21
Link Markiplier's History Lessons: 4TH OF JULY
Live Action Guide
Series Live Action
← previous
"Jumpscare Friends"
next →
"A Gentlemen's Dispute feat. CaptainSparklez"
Video Guide

← previous
"Extreme Treadmill Survival"

next →
"Happy Wheels Highlights #50"

Markiplier's History Lessons: 4TH OF JULY is a live action episode by Markiplier.


Happy 4th of July! To celebrate the holiday, here's a look back on what made America what it is today!


Full transcript
Hello! My name is Markiplier, and get ready to learn about the 4th of July and all of its historical historicalness. So when we last left off, there was a whole group of pilgrims that had just gotten done murdering everything on the island. And then they discovered that it wasn't an island, it was a whole country, filled with promise and dreams and hopes, which would soon be stomped out for money. So the pilgrims were all like "Huh, Jesus, this place is kinda great! We can live here forever!" And then their British fathers came and it was like "Hey! You making any money?" Er, wait, they are British, so they were more like "Oi, *holy poop*, canyougivememoney?" And then the early Americans were all like "Uh... No?" So the Brits were all like "Hoh, buy more tea. Let us know when it's time to make money." And then all the Americans were talking to each other, and they were like "Meh ho hu, this doesn't seem like a good deal anymore!" "No, no, it's not. It seems like the worst kinda deal that we can get." "Maybe we can do something better for ourselves?" "Why is your voice getting deeper?" "DON'T ASK QUESTIONS LADY. MEN'S VOICES GET DEEP WHENEVER THEY HIT PUBERTY!" "And where did your accent go?" "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT QUESTIONS?" "Are you Batman?" "Em, maybe." So the Americans then decided to reject their British ancestry and forget everything that ever happened to them before that. And then they donned the moniker of being AMERICAN. Along with it came the powers of greatness, awesomeness, eatingness, um... GOODNESS... GRACENESS. And then there was a war and everyone died... Except for the Americans of course! We beat everyone into a bloody pulp so that they weren't even recognizable by their own mums, and we... became king of the world! All of us, each of us, every one of us, there was George, um... Franklin... Billy and Batman. All together sitting up at the top of the world, uh, they all had... ivory towers and... big old crowns... their dicks were hu- And then they signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th to... nineteen... a long time ago! And that's why we shoot fireworks up into the sky every year... because they mask us preemptively striking the aliens in space with our MISSILES!


  • This video was previously titled Markiplier's History Lessons: INDEPENDENCE DAY.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.