Wilford Warfstache

"Life needed a bit of madness. Why should death be any different?"

- Wilford to Abe

Wilford Warfstache is one of Markiplier's prominent characters and a representative of his channel's imagery. In his early appearances, Wilford Warfstache was an avid journalist/news reporter for the AFC News. Now, he has his own talk show, WARFSTACHE Tonight!.

He was formerly known as William J. Barnum, nicknamed The Colonel, and was a childhood friend of Damien (the former Mayor), Mark, and Celine.

Description
Wilford Warfstache is a man who looks and sounds much like Mark himself, recognized for his distinctive pink mustache, unbelievable amount of class and amusing voice. He makes his debut appearance in Mark's first sketch comedy video The Fall of Slender Man as a news presenter who interviews the Slender Man (who had gone into hiding following a series of events) about his personal life, accusing him of child-molesting and heroin addiction.

Attributes
Warfstache is known for his astounding class and bravado. His most distinctive feature is his bushy pink mustache, which almost immediately became an icon of Mark's community. It is also implied that he is exceptionally strong, as mentioned in The Fall of Slender Man, where he recounts an event in which the Slender Man was horribly beaten by himself, alongside Mark and others (possibly referring to other YouTubers) during his time in prison, with Warfstache stating that he "punched Slender Man in the gonads (testicles)" (this display was also demonstrated at the end of the Slender Man Song, where he downs the Slender Man with one punch to the gonads).

Career
The majority of Warfstache's appearances depict him as a news reporter for different newscasts - during his debut, he worked as a journalist for the AFC News, and continued to work for them until his most recent interview, where he is seen to be operating under his own title. This suggests that his job as a reliable news reporter had brought him a large amount of success, enough to start his own talk show. It is expected by some fans that he may later appear as a Nicaraguan-trained surgeon (similar to Dr. Iplier).

Who Killed Markiplier?
Warfstache's original name and identity was William J. Barnum, or "The Colonel" (whom he preferred to be called by his friends), who showed similar traits and attributes as the current Warfstache. He and his friend Mark grow up in the same manor together, unknowingly being subjected to the mysterious "Upside-Down." The Colonel grows up to become a successful safari hunter, though evidence shows that he was slowly becoming more paranoid and losing his grip on his sanity as the years went on, likely due to his exposure to the Upside-Down.

The friendship between the Colonel and Mark comes to an end when Mark marries Celine and begins to become more of a wealthy jerk. Jealous of his friend, the Colonel persuades Celine to leave Mark and run away with him instead.

Years later, as part of a revenge scheme, Mark invites the Colonel to a poker night party alongside Damien, Abe the Detective, and the District Attorney, where he plans to frame the Colonel for his murder and possess his body using the powers of the Manor. After the other guests go to sleep intoxicated, Mark invites the drunken Colonel to the cellar and tricks him into playing a rigged game of Russian Roulette, which ends with the Colonel shooting Mark, seemingly killing him. Horrified, the Colonel drags the body back upstairs and goes to sleep, praying nobody found out.

After Mark's body is found by the other guests, the Colonel is confronted by an anguished Damien, who can't believe that the Colonel seemingly doesn't care about his friend's murder. When the District Attorney approaches him, he makes up a story about how Mark was killed to throw suspicion off of him, and sends the DA off to corroborate the story with the other guests.

The Colonel and several other guests come to the conclusion that Mark became a zombie after his body is mysteriously moved. Later, the Colonel takes a walk with the District Attorney, dropping hints about his resentment for Mark, all while unknowingly defying reality due to his exposure to the Upside-Down, avoiding Damien each time. He warps into the manor and starts to do some target practice with his pistol, nearly hitting Abe, who points his own gun at him in response.

The Colonel is then surprised at the sudden arrival of Celine. After a brief table meeting, the Colonel goes upstairs to sleep while Celine and the District Attorney tap into the Arcane Arts. The Colonel appears in the DA's vision, as an alteration of a scene they had seen differently. The Colonel is then woken up by the din caused by Mark and one of the Manor's Entities possessing Damien and Celine, who escape to the outside world.

The Colonel is in anguish over the sudden disappearances of his friends, and angrily refuses to leave without them. He and the District Attorney then discover Abe's secret room, revealed to them by the Manor, and he comes to the conclusion that Abe was the one orchestrating the entire plot. He angrily confronts Abe, accusing him of taking his friends from him, but Abe accuses him of murdering Mark because of his hatred for him. In a blind rage, the Colonel shoots Abe, and seconds after, he shoots the District Attorney on accident after they try to stop him.

The guilt of what he’d done and losing his two dearest friends, Celine and Damien, is too much for the Colonel to bear. Sitting by the District Attorney’s body for the rest of the night, William holds Damien’s cane, mourning the loss of his friends and regretting his actions. The last of the Colonel’s sanity shatters indefinitely, driving him completely insane from the trauma, when he watches the body of the District Attorney suddenly just get back up (via the possession of Damien, Celine and another Entity within the Manor). He becomes convinced that every murder he commits afterwards is simply a game, that death holds no meaning, and everyone will simply just wake up. He is even convinced that the others were playing the game on him as a cruel joke. Seconds later, in a state of hysteric madness, he goes in search of Celine and Damien, believing them to be alive as well.

Wilford 'MOTHERLOVING' Warfstache
Taking place after the events of Who Killed Markiplier?, William is seen running from the Detective ever since the "murders" of Mark, Damien, Celine, and the District Attorney. He has gone through several different personas, centering around his eccentrics and has been found by his current identity: Wilford "Motherloving" Warfstache, appearing as a 70s night club dancer with a pink afro. By defying the laws of physics, Warfstache is captured and brought back to the Detective's office for questioning. There, he finally remembers Abe and asks how he's been doing after all these years.

When Wilford begins to tell Abe facts from the past and future, it starts to break away Abe's understanding of reality and the world they were living in. Abe can no longer recall his memories, failing to understand that it's actually been years since the events of Who Killed Markiplier?, which starts chipping away at his psyche. Through Wilford’s words, suggesting that he shouldn't linger on small details and be more accepting of their situation, Abe ultimately decides to join Warfstache on the dance floor, taking his advice about unwinding in a world that no longer makes any sense.

The Fall of Slender Man
In his debut, Wilford Warfstache works as an avid journalist for the AFC News. He had recently gotten the chance to interview the elusive Slender Man after finding him strolling through a pasture, clad in a poor disguise. The interview begins with both secluded in a small room. After removing the disguise, the Slender Man is ready to disclose information of his recent doings to Warfstache, detailing his trip to the woods and his attempts to paint, his locking up in an asylum, his eventual freedom and aspiration to become a teacher, his return home to find his house robbed, his move to the city, and his eventual surrender and lock-up in a prison. All of these events, the Slender Man claims, transpired because of one Markiplier - he had ripped his paintings from the trees in the forest, found him in the asylum alongside many other individuals, stolen his lesson plans (which Warfstache assumes to be because of his history with children), robbed his house (and took, of all things, his grandfather clock), found him in the city and later joined Warfstache in beating him "to a pulp" in prison. Throughout the interview, Wilford Warfstache expresses nothing but admiration for Markiplier, to the disdain of the Slender Man. When asked about what happened next, the Slender Man give details on his trip to Jamaica and how his life was turned around when he met "a couple of nice fellows", which is where Warfstache speculates is what started his addiction to heroin, to which the Slender Man denies before the interview ends.

Warfstache Plays: Slender
After Mark's many failures in the forest, Warfstache is alerted to the Slender Man's new hideout and seeks to interview him once more about his heroin addiction and child-molestation. As he ventures the woods, he comes across scraps of the Slender Man's diary, each page giving insight into the Slender Man's inner thoughts about Markiplier, which reveal that he expresses a deep and disturbing love for him despite his outwardly attitude towards him, as well as his hatred for Warfstache. Warfstache, finding an overwhelming interest in these pages, continues onward to collect more while simultaneously searching for the Slender Man to conduct his interview. After finding several diary entries, the Slender Man, furious over his secrets being revealed to the world, attempts to kill Warfstache. Blissfully unaware of the obvious danger, Warfstache once again asks about his heroin addiction, to which he receives no reply.

The Slender Man Song
Wilford Warfstache appears at the end of the video, charging into frame whilst holding a dog and with his fist outstretched, punching the Slender Man so hard in the gonads that he becomes incapacitated, to the confusion of Mark.

The Warfstache Affair
The events of The Warfstache Affair take place around mid-afternoon on June 12, 2013. Journalist Wilford Warfstache becomes the convicted killer of three people; a wife, her husband, and their neighbor. In addition to the three people that were killed was a dog, and (allegedly) a baby. The murder weapon was a six-shot, fully loaded Dan Wesson 8" revolver

On the day of the murder, Warfstache was engaged in an affair with the wife on the day of her anniversary. The husband had arrived home early and makes his way to his room to surprise his wife on their anniversary. As he approaches the room, he witnessed his wife engaged in an steamy affair with convict Wilford Warfstache. Upon threatening to kill both the wife and Warfstache, Warfstache draws his revolver in an act of self-defense. There was a moment's pause before he fires the first shot. The husband is struck and his body hits the ground. His last words are "you are done". The wife is left in shock. She was about to inform the police of the accident. Fearing for his life, Warfstache fires the second shot, entering the side and killing the wife. The neighbor enters the room just after and in a self-induced state of shock, Warfstache fires the third shot, killing the neighbor.

Terrified of the events that unfurled, Warfstache then sees the family dog. Upon realizing that a witness remained, he reluctantly fires upon the dog. Outside the house, the sound of the family's baby rings out, before another gunshot is heard. It is assumed that Warfstache had killed the baby as well, although the body was never discovered. The house is soon burned down after the event.

The Ned Affair
"I know what you're thinking, it's the same thing I think every day. Where did it all go so wrong?"

- Warfstache to Officer Ned

Shortly after returning from Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, Officer Ned comes together with Officer Lee and they discuss the prior situation with Warfstache. Ned affirms that the case is considered personal for him, and that he would not stop until Warfstache was caught.

After finding the assumed hideout of Wilford Warfstache, the two officers storm the area, but find the main room empty. After careful inspection, Ned hears "sweet, sassy music" coming from one of the smaller offshoot rooms. Both officers investigate, and find Warfstache grooving with his back to the doorway. Entranced by the music, Ned starts dancing with his uniform off. Lee, baffled, questions Ned's actions, which he tries to justify, only to catch the attention of Warfstache, who fires a shot from a gold plated, pearl handled 1866 Remington Derringer, hitting Ned in the right hip. Lee attempts to assist Ned by firing back at Warfstache, but his gun has a pink plastic bag covering it, preventing him from shooting. Warfstache looks at the cop's gun in confusion before running out of the room. Both engage in a lengthy chase through the building which brings them to the rooftop. Cornered, both Warfstache and Lee engage in a firefight. Ned, hearing gunshots being fired, struggles to stand up before hobbling over to catch up with Lee.

The firefight continues on the rooftop between Lee and Warfstache, eventually resulting in Lee receiving severe injuries. Ned arrives too late, and starts to mourn over his partner's body before Warfstache approaches him, gun pointed at the back of his head. As he asks where it all went wrong, Warfstache gets shot from afar by the family's baby from the incident. As Ned is about to express his gratitude, he accidentally shoots the baby with Warfstache's pistol.

Amnesia: Rain | ENDGAME
Warfstache makes an appearance, playing the remainder of the Amnesia custom story in place of Markiplier (though this is due to Mark expressing a need to wear his custom moustache because "[he] wanted to"). In this episode, Warfstache's moustache is considerably larger (due to it being a gift sent in the mail by a fan), and is seen bearing a smaller black moustache attached to his wide-rimmed glasses.

Five Nights at Freddy's: The Interview
Wilford Warfstache once again appears for another interview, this time working as a senior reporter and operating under his own show (titled WARFSTACHE Tonight!). After introducing himself, he reveals that he managed to get in touch with Freddy Fazbear's Pizza's very own Phone Guy for an interview about how the place operates. Aside from the poor communication at the beginning of the interview (during which Warfstache lost his cool due to the Phone Guy's repetitious "hello"s), the interview runs extremely well, with the Phone Guy giving insight on what one would do when working as a night guard at the establishment. During the interview, Warfstache shows extreme astonishment at the many unusual skills needed and the amount of "boo!"s one would experience when working at Freddy's.

Later, as Warfstache attempts to learn more of the odd conspiracies and mysteries surrounding the history of the restaurant, the power cuts out within the building, leaving him and the Phone Guy in the dark. Warfstache gets up to investigate the problem, leaving the Phone Guy in the room, all the while rambling about the poor quality of his coworkers' management. As he treks the hallways, candle in hand, he hears the distant bellowing laughter of Freddy. Reiterating his identity as Wilford Warfstache, he turns around, coming face-to-face with a pair of glowing red eyes, shortly before his candle blows out and Golden Freddy lunges at him, screaming.

Warfstache Interviews Markiplier
Warfstache returns for another episode of WARFSTACHE Tonight! He introduces himself, shuts the audience up, and then puts the spotlight on his guest: Markiplier himself, brought on as a last resort to boost ratings when there were no other options. Warfstache learns from Mark that he plays video games for a living, recording them and commentating over them for internet users' entertainment. Warfstache asks Mark to elaborate on what he commentates and reacts to, to which Mark simply responds, "video games."

Warfstache then finds out the most popular games on Mark's channel, which were Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Slender Man, and Five Nights at Freddy's (the latter getting an excited reaction from the audience). Warfstache asks Mark what his favorite game is, but a boom mic is shoved into Mark's mouth before he can respond. Warfstache then comments on the number of Mark's fans (while shutting his audience up once again), and is astonished to hear that he has almost ten million subscribers. Mark goes on to explain that he used his tax refund to fund his channel and how it grew over time, which bores Warfstache and causes him to leave for a brief period.

When he comes back, Warfstache asks Mark if he's met any of his fans. When he confirms, Warfstache then asks him if he murders their families. Mark denies this, and Warfstache claims that Mark has admitted to never murdering anyone. Mark responds with "I didn't say that," invoking a "nani?" from Warfstache. Mark asks to go back to the normal questions, causing Warfstache to accuse him of being impatient. Mark then calls the show ridiculous, calling out the questions for making no sense, the audience for being either drunk or high, and Warfstache for being an idiot.

In response, Warfstache takes a knife and repeatedly stabs Mark, saying "no" with each stab. Mark tries to tell him to stop, but Warfstache continues to stab him, insisting he's starting to like it. Right before he dies, Mark calls Warfstache an "ass-blasting bitch-aloid."

Warfstache then carries on with the interview and switches the topic to Mark's charity work, but the now-deceased Mark obviously doesn't respond. Believing Mark to no longer be cooperative anymore, an exasperated Warfstache ends the interview.

DAMIEN
Warfstache does not make an actual appearance, but quotes from his confrontation with Abe echo throughout the void that Damien finds himself in.

In a behind-the-scenes livestream, it's revealed that shortly after the events of DAMIEN, Warfstache approaches Darkiplier, who Damien is currently in control of, and asks where Celine is, hoping to avoid her. Dark tells him "she's sleeping." Warfstache then tells Dark that he plans to make a TV program with the other egos, to which Dark says "ok" and goes along with it.

Markiplier TV
Warfstache appears revealing and starring in his own TV program. He appears in the bottom right-hand corner of the Bubbles infomercial, before he stars as the host of the game show "Disc of Riches." He prompts the contestant he refers to as "the big man in the stupid vest" to solve the puzzle, which he identifies as "do it do it do it come on kill me i'm here come on do it now kill me." Taking him literally, Warfstache promptly shoots him several times, causing a panic throughout the studio, which Warfstache is confused about. The Producer yells at him that he can't keep killing contestants, to which Warfstache insists that he was told to do so.

Warfstache also gets a late intro-clip where he tries to push his name card away, a clip from the Bubbles infomercial where he blows bubbles as a solution to the ghosts of his murder victims due to himself being the problem where "it wasn't just a misunderstanding where you were trying to tickle them with a knife," and the final clip where he scat sings in front of a static screen about killing Santa Claus and sleeping with "Jerry's" wife.

In the present, Warfstache clicks off the TV and asks the other Markiplier alter egos their opinions, with the general consensus being that it's completely stupid. Darkiplier, Googleplier, Ed Edgar, Bim Trimmer, Silver Shepherd, Dr. Iplier, The Host, The King of the Squirrels, and a physical representation of Septiplier are present for the meeting. Wilford tries to convince the egos of the appeal of his program, but after Dark respectfully tells him he's missed the point of the project, he concedes, annoyed. He then proceeds to murder Septiplier upon its request.

A Heist with Markiplier
Warfstache appears in Ending 16 of the interactive adventure, titled "The Interview." After Mark and the viewer character are confronted by the traitorous Wade, the viewer opens the box, which in this ending contains a Time Rewinding Device. The device is activated, sending the viewer to Warfstache, who closes the box and accuses the viewer of being late for their interview.

Nevertheless, Warfstache starts the interview, asking the viewer for their name before a glitch occurs, letting the interview proceed. Warfstache asks the viewer why they robbed the museum, what they stole, who their accomplices were, and other questions regarding the heist. He then gives them a notebook representing a comment section, telling them to record their experiences there. While the viewer does such, Warfstache sets them up with a Frequent Interview program, stating that "every tenth interview, you get a free ice cream!" He then tries to shoot an IOU with his pistol, missing the first attempt before hitting the second.

Then, a mosquito enters the room, flying around Warfstache's head while he tries to shoot it. It lands on the viewer's face, who Warfstache tells to stay still while he aims his pistol at them. Then the Producer walks in to the sight of Warfstache about to kill another guest, and yells at him to come to her office. Warfstache gives the viewer a bell to ring in case they need him, and follows the Producer into her office, asking "am I fired?" The Producer responds with "we'll see."

The viewer then rings the bell.

A Date with Markiplier
Warfstache appears in the final ending, titled "True End." The viewer walks down a hall in the evil chef's dungeon, leading to a floating apparition of Warfstache, in what he calls his "humble abode." Warfstache is confused as to why the viewer is there, but then asks if they know if they're what they think they really are. He then transports the viewer to a situation where they might discover the truth, wishing them luck. The viewer finds themself in a bathroom, where they look in the mirror to discover that they had been Chica the whole time.

The Warfstache Automated Interview Automaton
Wilford appears as a pre-recorded message, thanking the viewer for agreeing to test out the Warfstache Automated Interview Automaton (W.A.I.A.), a semi-functioning murderous animatronic designed by Wilford to conduct job interviews. Wilford then asks the viewer to follow along and respond to any questions that the W.A.I.A. gives them, noting that the wrong answer might cause their demise. From this point, the viewer can navigate the interactive short and choose their own routes in an attempt to get to the end of the story. Although there are a total of five endings, three of which result in the viewer's death and a prompt asking them to start over, only two are considered canon, with both being relatively similar to one another and ultimately leading to the same conclusion.

After completing a series of testing protocols, Wilford orders the W.A.I.A. to conduct a full-on interview with the viewer. The W.A.I.A. reboots and, after introducing the guest, proceeds to ask them a series of questions without receiving an answer. Before it can continue, the room's main light source cuts out and is instead illuminated by the W.A.I.A.'s electrical charge, which takes up another persona and chooses to shift the conversation, referencing a series of events relating to Who Killed Markiplier?: "A man goes to a party. This man met an old friend. The two friends shared some wine. Their two friends played a game. The most dangerous game. I didn't know the gun was loaded. I didn't know." The W.A.I.A. then poses one final question to the viewer, asking them if the aforementioned incident was its fault. If the viewer chooses the "YES" route, the W.A.I.A. will apologize for its actions and state that it does not remember its own identity. If the viewer chooses the "NO" route, the W.A.I.A. will state to the viewer that they cannot change the past, ending on the line "If you live in fantasy forever, you'll lose yourself in the story." Regardless of their choice, both routes lead to the same conclusion.

As the lights come back on, the W.A.I.A. resets back to normal and concludes the interview. Warfstache's recording rejoices over the supposed success of his creation, stating that the animatronic's AI is modeled after his brain scan, and congratulates the viewer one final time for making it all the way till the end. Seeing as the testing has been completed, Warfstache assures the viewer that they will be seeing more of the W.A.I.A. in the near future, before asking them to leave, noting that they will be billed for any blood that they got on the animatronic.

Trivia

 * Warfstache's origins date back to The Fall of Slender Man - Mark, wanting to add to the skit, found and threw on a random pink mustache and started talking in a weird voice (imitating examples of news people in the past, as well as to "keep the mustache from falling off"). This addition eventually birthed the concept of a new alter ego (Wilford Warfstache).
 * During The Bloopers of Slender Man, it is implied that Warfstache was not the first choice of name for the character - Warfstache is named "Warfsum" by Mark, but whether it is a placeholder name or Mark just mumbling the name "Warfstache" is up to the viewer.
 * According to Mark during his Slaps-Giving | Donations For Slaps live stream, Warfstache was a war veteran sometime in the past.
 * Warfstache has his own character in the Markiplier Mod for Don't Starve. He is unlocked by unlocking the Blacksmith's Chest after killing the Hooded Hero.
 * As of September 11, 2015, Warfstache has interviewed three subjects on-screen: the Slender Man, the Phone Guy, and Mark himself. Of the three, Mark is the only one to be an actual person.
 * In I EXPLAIN EVERYTHING livestream, Mark states that Warfstache was in the 1995 Jumanji film adaptation.
 * In a breakdown video, Mark explains that the events behind "Wilford 'MOTHERLOVING' Warfstache" took place years after "Who Killed Markiplier?", while the Detective in the story believes that only a few months have passed since the preceding incident.