Mark Fischbach/Quotes

General

 * "No! Don't do that! According to the colors of the rainbow: Fuck off! Binky boinky oinky, pop goes the fuck you!" - Markiplier trying to play POPGOES for the first time.
 * "What a bunch of ass baloney!" - Mark denying death
 * "I LOVE SENPAI YES I DO, HE'S FOR ME NOT FOR YOU!" - Mark while torturing classmates in Yandere Simulator
 * Goodie, goodie, gumdrops.
 * "OH NO THE PORN IS GONE!" Bad Dream Coma: Part 8
 * "That's so cool!" - A reoccurring exclamation of amusement
 * "Bitch, I'm fabulous!" - Mark to Venus in GOD OF LOVE
 * "Bing bong, bing bong, here comes my ding dong!" - to Venus in HuniePop
 * "And I get coin- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWUTHAPPENEDTOME?! Did you see that?!!!" - Mark and Ross' Grumpcade of Super Mario Kart Ep 6. When Mark gets gang banged by Luigi and Bowser. XD
 * "FLOOF THE HAIR FOR POWER !"
 * "Love is blind ; I think that's what they say. That's what they say right? Love is something anyway. Love is strong, love is passionate... Love is apparently Candy Crush." - HuniePop #1
 * "JESUS BALLS AND ASS COCK!!!!!!!"- Free Heart Attack; Black Rose
 * "GO AWAY! NOBODY LIKES YOU! HE'S STILL THERE!"- Five Nights At Freddy's
 * "It's so peaceful and pretty I think I'm going to vomit." - Sightline: The Chair
 * "Hey lil' mama lemme whisper in ya ear..." - Thoroughly amused, Markiplier's Photobooth Fun
 * "GO AWAY!" - Marks request to every evil entity
 * "Instructions not clear, got dick stuck in ghost." - Fatal Frame 2 - Crimson Butterfly
 * "Oh, I'm so boned!/We're boned!" - Facing imminent danger or death.
 * "Get your mind outta the gutter!" - Quoted after anything remotely dirty.
 * "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" - Relief after a long struggle
 * "So... what about that?" - Questioning events
 * "Bing-bong! Bring it on!" - Fatal taunts, SCP: Containment Breach
 * "Looking for the fastest time? Well, look no further than me, Markiplier, the greatest bottle-runner EVER!" - Self-entitlement, Happy Wheels Highlights #54
 * "Excuse me? 'SCUSE ME?!" - Showing extreme confusion or fear in situations
 * AAHHH! IT'S A THINGY!!! - Common exclamation caused by fear
 * "Squeeeeeeeeeaaak!" - Opening a squeaky door
 * "O-whoa-K balls? In my face? Did not request balls in my fa-yaa...balls in my dinner. Who t-bagged my di-oook." - Sightline: The Chair
 * "To infini-nope and beyond." - Nope-ing out, Steve's Office
 * "Hjababujajebaba!!" - "Shuffling" through a dense forest; christened "The Mumble Dance" by many Markiplites, Knock Knock
 * "Can we do it? No we can't! ...Maybe. I don't know, I'm not very committed to this decision, but whatever." - Indecisiveness, Knock Knock
 * "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" - Recurring innuendo joke
 * "I want to dance like an epileptic squid on acid." - On drugs, Death Dice Overdose
 * "F you in the A and have a nice day!" - Preceding the outro; sometimes used as an alternate closer, DeathDice Overdose
 * "SHUT UP NURSE! I KNOW WHAT'S BEST!" - Berating the nurse, Surgeon Simulator 2013
 * "Holy balls!" - Recurring exclamation
 * "OH MY NARDS!" - Recurring e    exclamation after genital harm  
 * "Oh my God, I am tripping balls right now!" - Mark while dosed up on cold medicine, XCVB
 * "That's seven, now I just need to find one more and then open the door, get on the floor, everybody do the dinosaur!" - Two pages to victory, Slender: The Nine Pages
 * "Balls to the wall!" - Recurring exclamation, Evading SCP-173, SCP Containment Breach
 * "I'm back at the red dildo! AGAIN!" - Rediscovering the giant silo, Slender
 * "Stork flies out of your vagina? Isn't that how it works? Just, "BWAKAAAAW!!!" and then all the sudden you had a baby! And a stork. Better feed that stork." - About birth, Ildefonse | Part 2
 * "What rhymes with axe? MORE axe!" - Butchering a body, Nightmare House 2
 * "Fwiffwow!" - Guaranteed monster evasion technique
 * "One thing that I liked about being a bartender: if you make people laugh, you get better tips but you will never have better tips than the girl besides you with giant boobs [...] I can make people laugh but God-damn I sure wish I had boobs... you can quote me on that" - Reminiscing his former bartender job, Ominous
 * "He is going to nibble on your giblets!" - Describing the motives of every horrific creature in existence
 * "Don't be nibblin' on my giblets." - Mark's request for every horrific creature in existence
 * "WHEEEERE'S THE BLAAACKSMIIIITH?!?" - Mark's troubles, Eleusis
 * "Let me AXE you a question" - Several bad puns later, Nightmare House 2
 * "I mean what's there to know? Comes out of the vagina like WHOOM BANG! Suddenly you got a baby!" - As if it were obvious, Ildefonse | Part 2
 * "So its da puun run!" - Every harpoon run, Happy Wheels Highlights
 * "POOF! :3" - Shooting a flare, Toward The Light
 * "SHUT UP WADE, I'M HAVING A ROMANTIC SITUATION WITH A DINOSAUR! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!"- Berating Wade in the midst of a prehistoric date, Jurassic Heart
 * "EVERYBODY DO THE DINOSAUR!" - Recurring exclamation
 * "HAAA-BERSKY" - Flipping a lever, pressing a button
 * "I dunno if that's Masky or not but i'm just gonna call him [sic] the Lil' Douchebag!" - About Kate, Slender: The Arrival
 * "No, thank you! I don't want any!" - Starting to lose confidence
 * "Shut up, nurse! I'm a doctor, of course I know what is best!" - Berating the nurse, Surgeon Simulator 2013
 * "Ding-dong, damn it!" - Doorbell troubles,' (Source needed)
 * "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why...? So many times I ask this question... why?" - Why?, (Source needed)
 * "Apparently the mechanics of this game is that you need to recharge your lantern, so... GUH-reat, that makes total sense." - Questioning logic, Segatakai
 * "Nope, nope, nope, nope" - Recurring exclamation; continues for as long as panic ensues
 * "HEY SLENDY! YOU'RE AN A-HOLE! YOU'RE AN ASS!" - Foolishly taunting the Slender Man, Slender: The Arrival
 * "Little piggy, no no! Little piggy, go home!" - Attempting to ward off Chris Walker, Outlast
 * "I'm just the greatest! And the smartest, the bravest, and the handsomest!" - Over-confident boasts, often preceding an embarrassing failure
 * "Helloooo, baaaayby! How YOU doin'?" - Flirtyplier, flirting with angel statues, Amnesia: The Dark Descent
 * "Let's just nope off to Fuckthatville!" - Dying inside, Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs
 * "To be or not to fuck off!" - Moment of Shakespearean goodness, Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs
 * "Hello? Anyone else want to dance? ...I'm great at the tango! ...And the macarena!" - Over-estimating his abilities, Dead Space 3
 * "Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to [subject of the video]" - Mark's introduction
 * "And as always, I will see you... in the next video! Buh-bye!" - Mark's outro
 * "Markiplier Out!" - Mark's old outro quote
 * "Where the fuck is John Keith?" - Questioning John Keith's whereabouts, The Crooked Man
 * "Why are there nipple penises?" - Shocked at Goku's makeover, Drunk Minecraft | GOKU'S NIPPLES
 * "You son of a bitch." - Recurring stressed exclamation
 * "You go to hell and you die!" - Damning every monstrosity to hell where they belong
 * "I knew they would stab me in the back... I'll just have to stab them in the back... I'll stab them in the butt... That's what I'll do..." - About his traitorous 'friends', EVERYTHING GOES WRONG | Nether Gameplay #2
 * "Thor! I told thee to calm thine tits! Thine tits are very rambunctious." - Trying to calm the thunderous storm, DEAD END
 * "EW, YOU'RE SO WEIRD!" - Trying to evade a blindfolded/gagged prisoner in a straitjacket, Outlast | Part 4 | SCARIEST MONSTER YET!!
 * "Do it. I am Cornholio." - Being threatening under a new alias, Turbo Dismount | BOB THE RAGDOLL
 * "Double-Finger Defense!" - A call-out for his main form of defense, Amnesia: When Life No Longer Exists | Part 2 | DOUBLE-FINGER DEFENSE
 * "I'm going to shove this ball so far up your ass your gonna be coughing up green." - Making cringe-worthy threats, Tenebris Lake | Part 6 | EASTER EGG
 * "NO THANK YOU." - Rejection, Dungeon Nightmares
 * "Let a gentleman show yo-- FUCK." - Failing mid-sentence, Flappy Fedora: EUPHORIA OVERLOAD
 * "I don't LIKE this game, but I know how to beat it." - Seconds from near-disaster, SCP: Containment Breach | Part 10 | WORST SCARE EVER
 * "Oh... YEAH! I made it through one room..." - Seconds from death, SCP: Containment Breach
 * "Oh, you're 'so' right behind that door-or-oor!" - WARNING: SCARIEST GAME IN YEARS | Five Nights at Freddy's - Part 1
 * "AGH FUCK YOU! OH GOD! WHAT THE FUCK?! ...What the fuck, okay?! NOT okay! I was just... listening to a nice conversation! ...No, you cannot change RULES!" - After sighting Golden Freddy, WAS THAT GOLDEN FREDDY?! | Five Nights at Freddy's - Part 2
 * "Fuzzy bear if you're there I'm gonna kill you, by stuffing you OUT of your suit" - (Empty) Threat to Freddy, Five Nights at Freddy's 'Not-So-Official' Ending - Part 3
 * "You do you, and I'll do me. And we won't do each other... probably. That was a good poem right there." - A well-recited poem, Five Nights at Freddy's: Secret 6th and 7th Night
 * "I beg of you. I beg every single fiber of your delicious, fluffy body. Please let me have as much time as you can give me. Please take, your sweet-ass time" - Desperate words to Freddy - Five Nights at Freddy's: 20/20/20/20 COMPLETE
 * "HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEEY! HEYEYEYEYEYEEE! BACK OFF! BACK OFF! BACK OFF! YOU'RE TOO CLOSE! AAAH STRANGER DANGER, GET BACK FROM ME!!!" - Freaking out over Old Bonnie and Old Foxy - ENDLESS CYCLE OF DEATH | Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Part 3
 * "Things are about to get a little weird because, Spiderfreddy, Foxy, Spiderfoxy, whatever. The Mangle, I don't care. It's Spiderfoxy in my opinion!" - Naming The Mangle - READY FOR FREDDY? | Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Part 4
 * "You know what's going on. You're the guy, you're-you're-you're Golden Freddy probably" - Questioning Phone Guy's identification - WELCOME TO THE FAMILY | Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Part 5
 * "Don't wake the baby. Don't wake the baby. Don't wa-Go f**k yourself. I'll just be here, in my Freddy head. Please go, go away, and die" - 'Why Can't We Be Friends - Five Nights at Freddy's 2 Version - Sung by Markiplier - GOLDEN FREDDY'S SECRET | Five Night's at Freddy's 2 - Part 6 (ENDING)
 * "Hello... I'm an SCP now! S-C-P...M-A-R-K...I-P-L-I-E-R. The most lethal... SCP around..." - Newfound classifications, SCP: Containment Breach | Part 34 | MOST JUMPSCARES EVER!!
 * "Wa-booo! OOOH! ...oooo-oOOOO..." - Creepiness ensues, SCP: Containment Breach | Part 34 | MOST JUMPSCARES EVER
 * "Doooooon't dick with me... aaAAAAAHH F*CK!" - Space scares, BIGGEST OCULUS RIFT SCARE | Deep Down in Space (Oculus Rift Horror)
 * "Hi... I'm sorry were you naked? Is this the bathroom? Am I coming out of the poop hole?!" -  Sanitation at its finest,' ' Amnesia: The Four Horsemen''
 * "Wanna run that by me again?" - Recurring exclamation
 * "Did I won?" - A confusing victory, Happy Wheels Blindfolded w/ TOBUSCUS
 * "ARGGHH! You gotta be kiddin' me?" - Repeated line, Octodad: Dadliest Catch
 * "YOU GET BACK HERE YOU B****" - Repeated line, Octodad: Dadliest Catch
 * "Well, isn't this fan-fricken-tastic!" - Moments before breaking a metal gate with a shovel, Amnesia: The Things in the Night | Part 23 | PUNCHED MY MONITOR
 * "Life's hard. Shouldn't you be too?" - Referring to the Nota-Pe-Nis 3000
 * "I am the King of Five Nights at Freddy's!" - Upon beating Five Nights at Freddy's's Nightmare Mode
 * "Cream! These are all canon now, everyone. Write that in my Wikipedia." - Warning : Ethan gets Cream'd | Mario Kart - Part 3
 * "I just want to murder you! Stop letting me bounce on your tum-tum and just walk into my flying fists! Oh, you think you can escape the fists of fury? Nothing can escape the fists of fury 'cause I have no idea what I'm doin'!" - HAPPY 4th OF JULY!! | Crash Bandicoot N'Sane Trilogy - Part 1
 * "I don't wanna fuck an ant" 5 Weird Games #1
 * "The egg comes out of the chicken's butt, which is their cloaca, which is a combination of all the holes they need, therefore it's a butthole, I'll poop an egg out. I will lay it so much better. I will shove so many eggs up my ass." - We’re Better Than Dogs
 * "I'm the Matt Damon of poop." - "The Great Ice Cream Cake Race"
 * "Get on the bottom you basic bitch" - Mark to Ethan in "The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake"
 * "What is every graveyard, but humanity's hall of fame." - Mark in "Goodbye."
 * "I like freedom, I like boobs, I like money, I like boob freedom... with money." - Mark in "KOREAN McDonalds vs AMERICAN McDonalds (mukbang?)"
 * “I am a man who owns five ovens!” - Mark in Markiplier Makes Crème Brulee

Wilford Warfstache

 * "You all think you know what's best? Obviously you do not know what is BEST! *inhale* Wilford Warfstache knows what's best!" - Warfstache playing Dr. Nigel, Amnesia: Rain | Part 6 (FINAL) | ENDGAME
 * "Good evening everybody, my name is Wilford Warfstache with the AFC News!" - Warfstache's introduction
 * "Well, it seems that the Slender Man has a... romantic interest that we need to interview him about! A-huh-huh! What a sissy!" - Searching through the woods, Warfstache Plays: Slender
 * "Oh, it was so ugly, I'm glad he ripped it down." - About the Slender Man's drawings, The Fall of Slender Man
 * "The Slender Man. Once the most feared creature in all of existence, now a registered sex offender and heroin addict." - Introducing the Slender Man, The Fall of Slender Man
 * "Warfstache don't take no shit from nobody." - Threatening Slender Man, The Fall of Slender Man

Mark-Bot

 * "I just got more RAM installed. High-five for me. Aaanyone? Aaanyone?" - Self-congratulations from Mark-Bot, Two Idiots Play Starcraft | PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT (2012 livestream)
 * "Do you think... do you think Kelsey would date a robot?" "She's married..." "You're right. WHAat a bitch." - Mark-Bot referencing Five Second Films, Two Idiots Play Starcraft | PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT (2012 livestream)
 * "I am a Bro-bot. Let's get some bitches, and go out to the bar." - Mark-Bot the Bro-Bot, Two Idiots Play Starcraft | PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT (2012 livestream)
 * "A robot has mechanical balls because it is there for you to suck." - The Swedish robot's logic on the existence of robotic gonads, Two Idiots Play Starcraft | PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT (2012 livestream)
 * "Mark-Bot engaged! M-You thought you had forgotten about Mark-Bot?! Mark-Bot is back!" - The return of Mark-Bot, Charity Livestream | Alzheimer's Research (2013 livestream)
 * "Mark-Bot. Mark-Bot. Mark-Bot is back. Bob have you met Mark-Bot? Mark-Bot is back." - Bob unwillingly meets Mark-Bot for the first time, Charity Livestream | Alzheimer's Research (2013 livestream)
 * "Thank you... Wade... for resurrecting Mark-Bot. Mark-Bot is happy, that Mark-Bot is back." - Gratitude, Charity Livestream | Alzheimer's Research (2013 livestream)

Santa Claus

 * "Ho-ho-holy hell!" - In great peril, Happy Wheels Highlights
 * "Jingle balls, jingle balls, harpoons up my ass!" - Running through harpoons, Happy Wheels Highlights #26
 * "Jingle bells, go to hell, bitch, get out of my way!", ​Happy Wheels Highlights
 * "Let me just hump this until it makes sense!" - Confused and bewildered, Happy Wheels Highlights
 * "GET IN THE HOOOOOLE!" - Sexual innuendo?, Happy Wheels Highlights
 * "Kiddies!", Happy Wheels Highlights
 * "Jingle jingle jingle bitches" - Happy Wheels Highlights #12

Darkiplier

 * "I don't quite feel like myself..."- Raspy Hill
 * "Open your mind and accept your buttox to my knife... I mean knowledge... *raises eyebrows* "- Murder
 * Did you miss me? I missed you. Very much. ... I've been waiting a long time to see you again. I've been pushed aside. Replaced. Mocked. And then he- had the gall- to not invite me to his little adventure with you. No more. Never again.  - A Date With Markiplier (From "PAY" to "HORROR")
 * I'VE BEEN WAITING PATIENTLY- HE PROMISED HE WOULD LET ME IN AGAIN. - A Date With Markiplier
 * THERE'S NOTHING YOU- OR HE- CAN DO TO STOP ME. - A Date With Markiplier
 * Good choice, but.. why do we have to choose in life? - A Date With Markiplier